Brad has a hobby. Well, he has a hobby besides computer programming. This hobby, however, is something that makes me insane.

When I first met Brad, he had a motion sensor in the bedroom so that when you walked into the bedroom, a light turned on automatically. It didn't turn on during the day and it didn't turn on in the middle of the night, so I believe it was programmed for evening use.

I thought this was pretty cool.

I asked him, when we moved into our new house, if he could set that up again.

He didn't.

He set up some automatic functions for some of the lights in our house. Only, I don't know what half of these functions are and I don't know how to use them. I know some of the lights switch on at a certain time in the evening. Which sounds cool when you put it that way. But with the changes of the seasons and what-not, the lights don't always come on at the best time.

And most of our light switches don't actually work like normal light switches anymore.

This is what our old switches looked like. And honestly, we do still have a few that look like this.

Normal looking switches, for the most part. Up is on, down is off.

The switches that operated our living room lights were identical to this.

Now, they look like this.

Wait, what?

Yes, two light switches have now been replaced with 5 switches. Why do we need 5 light switches to operate what two used to do?


It used to be when I came into the living room, I could push the light switch and the light would come on. Instantly. When I left, I would push the switch again and the light would go off. Instantly.

Now, I push a switch and.... nothing happens! *grumble grumble*

Me: Brad! The light won't come on!

Brad: Use the remote.

Me: Ugh. What number is it on the remote?

Brad: Number 5.

I look at the remote.


Do you see numbers on this remote, excluding the number on the Schwan's sticker? No?


Me: Uh... there are no numbers on here! Which one is number 5?

Brad: The fifth one.

Me: The fifth from the top? The fifth from the bottom? Left? Right?

Brad: *condescendingly* The fifth from the top on the left. Left is on. Right is off.

Me: *thinking of different ways to murder my husband*

Once in a while, I forget that I have to use a freakin' remote to turn on the damned lights in my living room. I flip the switch. Nothing happens. *grumble grumble*

Me: Which one of these stupid switches turns on the light?

Brad: That first one.

Me: I flipped it and nothing happened!

Brad: You have to give it a few seconds.

Somehow, multiple switches which take several seconds to respond to being turned on or off and a remote control is supposed to have simplified our control of the light switches.