Seven years ago today, I met my future husband.

We were both using Yahoo! personals. I'd had a few dates but nothing that lasted very long or turned out well. Some I left feeling kinda creeped out afterwards.

That's not entirely true. I did date one guy for quite a while but obviously, that turned into nothing. We are still friends, though.

Then I got a message from this guy.

And I was this girl


who was thinking, "Uh, whatever."

But... that guy in that picture was really super nice in the few messages we exchanged and he was very interesting.

And when he finally asked me out, I thought, "Why not?" I didn't expect much to come of it but figured maybe I'd have a good night out.

He was not easy to talk to. He didn't say a whole lot and I felt like I was dragging words out of him. It didn't help that I wasn't much of a talker, either. We went to a movie, I went home, and thought, "Well, that wasn't bad but I'm not sure I'll go out with him again."

But I did.

Every time I went on a date with Brad, I'd get home and think, "That was nice/fun but I'm not sure I'll go out with him again."

I don't know how things would have turned out if I hadn't been dating the other guy, Shane, at the same time but I don't know that things would have turned out so well. After all, dating both slowed things down quite a bit and made me keep things in a better perspective.

Six months later, I was sitting in Brad's living room next to him, our relationship still wasn't super serious. I looked over at him and it occurred to me that I had stopped thinking, "I'm not sure I'll go out with him again," and was now thinking, "I can't see this ever ending."

And when that thought hit me, I realized that I had something special there.

It took about 2 more years before I was able to get Brad's brothers to move out of Brad's house so I could move in. And it took another year after that before we got married.


The road with Brad has rarely been easy. We have had traumas (the loss of a pregnancy and the strain of a foster child we'd hoped to adopt coming into our home, turning it upside down, and having to be removed) and we've had our struggles (mostly financial over the last several years) and we've had to start therapy to learn how to talk to each other better and listen to each other better and work better together as a couple.

The one thing about Brad that I have been so grateful for is that he's just allowed me to be me. No real expectations as to who he thought I should be. No unreasonable demands for me to be something I'm not. He doesn't ask me to be anyone other than I am. He's allowed me to figure out who I am, which has been a real struggle.

But I'm finally becoming the person I have always been meant to be.

There is no one else I've had as much fun with, either.

We spend many nights at bedtime, lying in bed talking and laughing and being generally just silly. Brad has a wonderful sense of humor and he lets me poke fun at him without getting upset. His general lack of defensiveness has made it much easier for me to take myself less seriously, too.

Believe me, he does a pretty good job of making fun of me, too.

Wow, 7 years. It's a record length for him and almost a record length for me. And yet it doesn't feel like it's been that long.

When you spend a lot of time laughing and enjoying yourself with the person you love most in the world, time doesn't really even exist.

This man was made for me.